Her doctor came in late that night to check on her. Hours upon hours of laying there staring at the ceiling made her sick and tired, but she knew there was nothing she could say to convince them to release her from the restraints. The hospital psychiatrist had been a joke and after several hours went away just shaking her head.
The nurse had even offered to come in and comb her wild matted dark hair, but Charisse gave her a look that dared the nurse to even try. To pass the time, she had been trying to painfully use her thighs and wrench the cathedra from her body. Knowing it would be painful if she succeeded, but she would cause a mess that would make them release her from the restraints.
Charisse figured they just sent the psychiatrist to pass the time until her doctor since her first suicide attempt showed up.
“I want you to check yourself in willingly to the facility,” he said.
“I don’t want to go,” Charisse said adamantly.
“And you just think I should release you, so you can do it again?”
With a matter of fact tone, she stated, “Yes, I think you should.”
“I won’t do that any more until I see some kind of significant improvement. Three months, Charisse.” He said her name correctly so she couldn’t get upset and smart with him about that.
She gave into the thought. Three months of making plans to hurt herself.
“If you agree to it, I won’t mention to your sister about sending you permanently,” the doctor warned.
Giving him her most annoyed expression, she said, “I don’t like to be threatened.”
“Then do this for the sake of doing it. I know it’ll never work and I know you’ll find another way because from your record it doesn’t matter what anyone has said to you, you still don’t think you deserve to live. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t-“
“Shut up!” she sneered. It was the first sign of fight the doctor had seen in her and he knew and understood her weak spot, but he didn’t take the bait and pressure her with it, like her sister would have. She was still strapped down unable to move.
The room was quiet for a long moment before she miserably said, “Whatever. Do what you will.”
“I want you to take advantage of this, Charisse. I want you to heal.” He started to reach out and touch her, but withdrew his hand before making contact, knowing how upset she would become.
Touching had become a phobia of hers since… since the incident. They had diagnosed her with Aphenphosmphobia. Sometimes she still dreamed about the blood and brain matter scattered over her skin and wake up to shower vigorously for hours on end. At least she had stopped seeing it when she was awake.
The daymares had been worse than the nightmares.
Charisse hoped they never returned. The touch of clothes on her skin didn’t bother her and water seemed to bring her relief. Anything else, especially the touch of another human, she couldn’t take.
Just the thought of it made goosebumps appear on her reddish brown flawless skin.
“After your stay at the facility your sister Chyna Mills, will be given primary custody of you. Since this did happen while Cheyenne was in custody of you, I’m going to forward to the court my upset at her not watching you.”
“I’m not a baby.”
“But knowing your record and my warnings, she should have known better. I’m going to also further insist on strict precautions to be taken upon your release and-“
“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE?!” she screamed with all the frustration and anger inside of her.
He held the clipboard close to her and said, “Because it’s my job.”
She didn’t’ want to hear anymore and closed her eyes to tune him and the rest of the world out. He kept talking, but she didn’t hear his words. She didn’t care and she didn’t know why he should either. ‘Just take your money and get the fuck out my life. All I want to do is die! Why won’t they just let me die?!’
The doctor finally left her alone. She knew he was going to tell her sisters of the decision, but she didn’t want to see them right now. She didn’t want to be around them ever, but there was no other family in their lives, yet if anyone knew the truth, Charisse knew the doctors wouldn’t allow them to see her anymore. She’d take that secret to her grave and hopefully that could be sooner than later.
The doors to her room opened and Charisse still pretended sleep. Whoever it was came over to the bed and stood a moment, placed something down by her table and then she heard the door closed. After a few more moments when she didn’t hear anything, Charisse breathed a sigh of relief and slowly opened her eyes.
“You’re so bad at playing possum, Charisse,” a deep voice said quietly in the dim corner of the room.
If she could scream she would have, but her voice hurt too much.
Parker Mills approached the bed looking larger than life and sinfully handsome in a custom tailored pin stripped suit. His brownish nutmeg hair was freshly cut to a medium height like Boris Kojo in the Tyler Perry film. His smooth light brown skin was flawless and he looked as if he were clean shaven by the good lord with a perfect cut moustache over his medium thick dark cerise lips. His wide jaw and arrogant chin, gracefully accentuated his thick neck and broad strong shoulders.
Parker stood only five eleven, but how he carried himself along with the brawniness of his body made him seem taller.
‘Maybe money made a man bigger,’ Charisse guessed.
Swallowing her alarm, she hoarsely asked, “Why are you sneaking in my room?”
“I wasn’t. I just have a quiet walk.”
Still being strapped on the bed, so she couldn’t look down on the floor to see if he had shoes on. Her hearing was excellent and she knew whomever came in the room walked out. This was all a moot point. “What do you want?”
He held up straws. “The nurse asked me to place them on your table by the cup Chyna just brought in.” He did this.
“Should I thank you?” she asked sarcastically.
His eyes narrowed just a little along with his head tilting, but then casually, he said, “No need.” His tone of voice sounded royally as if she should have. “I came in here to assure you that after your stay in the hospital, I won’t feel you’d be a burden to us in our home.”
Charisse thought it was odd of him to try to make her feel comfortable. This was about the longest conversation she had with her brother-in-law and he didn’t seem at all like the person Chyna made him out to be.
“My brother had asked if he could stay with us about three years back and Chyna didn’t like that, so I turned him away. The next day, his wife shot him.” A look of regret filled his dark brown mahogany eyes. “Plus, I know how you feel right now.”
“You do?” she asked sarcastically. “You’ve tried to kill yourself?”
He flushed which brought out these handsome dimples in his cheek. “No, and I don’t know anyone whose tried or accomplished. I was referring to having your stomach pumped. I ate a whole bucket of Playdoh on a dare when I was nine. They pumped my stomach and it was horrible.” He came close to the bed. So close she could smell his almond cologne and she braced herself from his proximity.
“Move back!” she snapped angrily.
He stepped back confused as to what he had done to make her get upset.
Charisse sighed trying to relax. “I don’t like … I don’t like things close to me. Touching me.”
“Oh… yes,” he said, feeling embarrassed as he remembered what Chyna had told him. “I forgot.” Now he felt uncomfortable, because he didn’t know how to respond to this.
Charisse was used to this. “Thank you, Parker, for that assurance, but hopefully by then I’ll figure a way to kill myself,” she said briskly.
The horror, shock and upset on his face because of her bluntness, almost brought her to smile at her cruel words, but she bit the inside of her lip to stop herself. It was the first in a long time that she had felt real humor at what she had done. Parker would be amusing to rile if he continued to look that upset at the thought of death.
Without another word, he left the room and Charisse almost released the smile because that was what she wanted to happen. Smiling would mean she was happy about something and Charisse wasn’t happy about anything. Still, she pursed her lips in grimace that came close but even that quickly disappeared.
It was sickening how she kept looking at all the things that were handsome about him. Chyna had said Parker was a cold man. Never smiled, never had three words to say and never talked about his crazy family.
Yet the man who had just come in there was far from that. He’d done everything Chyna had said he didn’t.
Charisse didn’t want to stay with them. Two people watching her. All the time? Damn!
Chapter 1.2 His Substitute Wife…My Sister (c) 2007 Sylvia Hubbard