This will be the last before the weekend and then go from there on Monday.
Have a good weekend and I hope to have you back just as eagerly.
The next week after practice, she found Derrick standing outside there alone waiting for his ride. Again, Rachel offered, Would you like to sit in my car?
He smiled knowingly and followed her to the car. When they were inside, he immediately asked, What do you plan on doing after all this? he asked.
After you teach yourself in the ground?
Shrugging, Rachel said, I dont… well, thats a lie. I do know. I want to open up a center for single parents – Ones who didnt have the chance to get their education before they had children and the ones who are trying to get their education and they need help. I think I could do a lot with the center as far as mental health and so forth.
What would you know about single parenting? he asked in challenge.
Enough. I feel like one with all the parenting Robert does. I hope to go back to school and earn a higher degree in psychology or social work.
Thats a lot of work, Rachel, he said worriedly. Youre already wasted away to almost nothing.
True, she had dropped down to a size twelve, although there was still some tummy left and hip, but she didnt feel she had wasted to nothing. Youre exaggerating, Derrick, or either that or trying to blow my ego up. I do thank you for that, she said with a playful wink. Why do we always talk about my life, Derrick? Are you happy?
There was a bothered look in his eyes, before he said, Never, but I pretend that Im not where I am until I can be where I want to be.
She had to admit they made a weird pair by doing the same thing in unhappy situations. Whats so unhappy about your life, Derrick?
My mother, I suppose. Being with her and seeing her character makes me sick. There was disgust and pity at the same time in his voice. I watch her trudge around through life doing my stepfathers biding. She depends on him to make her happy, hoping that hell change.
Rachel could almost understand the woman she had never met. Was that what attracted Derrick to her? Because her life closely resembled that of his mothers?
He continued, He abuses her when Im not around.
How do you know that?
Because I see the marks on her face where hes made a mistake and hit her. She tells me shes fallen or shes clumsy, but I know the truth. Vehemently, allowing his anger to show, he said, Ill kill him next time I know hes touched her wrong.
Placing a hand over his, she tenderly drew his conscious back to her. Her touch startled him out his anger and he looked at her intently. You love her though, Derrick?
Very much. She is my mother. Thats why I want to protect her. I want her to be happy. I dont want her to end up… I dont know. I cant describe it, but I know if she continues like this she wont be herself anymore. Shell be some empty shell living day to day like a zombie. He leaned in close to her until their breaths mingled together and his voice turned into a whisper. Do you find yourself being lost in him? What power does he hold over you, Rachel, that I cant defeat?
I wasnt destined to be happy, Derrick. Cant you see that? She couldnt stop tears as they rolled down her cheek.
He shook his head. You were destined to be a wonderful woman for a good man. Maybe in the beginning you only saw what was yet to be in Robert. You need a man who already is. Any great man in this world can see that you are a woman who they should be honored to have by their side. I see it.
She moved away fighting the force that wanted to draw her close to him again. Your words are sweet, but I cant believe them. Nothing in life has ever gone my way no matter how hard Ive worked. Let me be happy with this little happiness.
There was a pregnant silence between them.
In the stillness, he whispered, After next week we wont see each other as often unless passing in the halls, when I have to address you as only my teacher.
That will be good for both of us.
Why? he glared at her. When I need your closeness? From the time I open my eyes in the morning, until I close my eyes at night, I crave to see your face everyday, Rachel. I wish you could lie beside me at night and I could hold you in my arms and whisper gentle words of how much I love you in your ear to soothe all the pain in your hear-
Covering her ears and closing her eyes, she said, Derrick, stop! Please stop. Looking at him deeply, she covered his mouth. Its taken so much not to give in. Dont weaken me again, please.
He conceded. Fine, Rachel. I wont speak my heart to you anymore, but you know. You will always know I love you. Derrick clasped her hands in his tightly.
She knew he was too young to see that those words would be forgotten. In five years, he would barely remember the names of his high school teachers. Although Derricks words were so nice to hear she couldnt take them to heart.
The familiar harsh horn blew and Derrick got out of the car releasing her hands. Goodnight, Rachel.
Goodnight Derrick. She watched him walk away from her car and when he was out of sight, she leaned her forehead on the steering wheel, telling herself that his infatuation would fade and once she was out of sight, some little girl would take her place in Derricks heart and everything would be fine.
So why did the thought of another woman in his heart make her feel so jealous?
Teach Me To Love Chapter 12 Part 5
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